Have you ever heard the phrase “fake it until you make it”? It famously became popular from a TED talk by Amy Cuddy, where she describes how our body language doesn’t just influence how other people receive us, but how we feel about ourselves.
Cuddy identified that things like adopting a power pose (think Wonder Woman) can help us feel more confident for events like interview preparation. Although some have since challenged the research behind it, there’s still something to be said for Cuddy’s idea of holding your head up high. Body language definitely reveals more than we might realise, especially in arenas where we are trying to make a good impression.
In a similar way, we are slowly starting to change the way we look at Imposter Syndrome. This is a term that describes how, especially when things are going well, we feel like a fraud; we are constantly waiting to be “found out”, as if we are just not quite good enough. Research around this area is starting to suggest that it’s not necessarily that we’re not good enough at all, but our environment contributing towards how we feel. (Christina Whittaker explains in your video below). This is particularly the case where your views are stifled, or you feel you can’t be who you want to be at work.
Here’s what might help:
This week, set the intention to Believe In You. Sometimes we are in the wrong room, not because we’re not qualified to be there, but because our skills, strengths and talents aren’t being respected or utilised. As Whittaker goes on to explain in the video below, the doubts we sometimes feel (she calls it “The Murky Middle”, or Imposter Syndrome 2.0) is nothing to do with our lack of capability or capacity (eg, a lack of confidence) but that what you’re doing is misaligned with your deeper life purpose, or sense of meaning.
Questions you can ask yourself are:
• When I’m at work, do I feel as if I’m not good enough (eg lack of confidence), or is it that my skills are not being used to their full potential? If it’s confidence, this article may help.
• How much of how I feel is because of my own narrative (eg that I “should” do better), or the environment that I’m in – eg, am I being micro-managed? (If it’s your self-talk, your Top Tip below may help).
• Is what I do every day aligned, with where I want to be?
Overall remember, you’re allowed to speak your truth, change your mind and know where you’re going, especially if you don’t want to stay where you are. It’s ok to reflect on the room you’re in, and if that’s really where you want to be.
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© Delphi Ellis 2022
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