How are you holding up?
It’s fair to say, there’s a level of unease in the world right now. If you’re fed up of hearing about the new global conversation in COVID-19, I promise this post isn’t actually about the virus, but it does help me to make an important point.
Not everyone is concerned about the virus itself, but it is a time of worry for those who fall into the high risk categories or have anxiety connected to hand hygiene, like OCD.
We also know differences of opinion can create challenges. Some have already started voicing their opinions about who is right and who is wrong. Last week, journalists turned to random celebrities – like Jürgen Klopp, manager of Liverpool FC – asking if we should all be worried.
And that’s when the ‘magic’ happened.
Directly but calmly, Klopp set the journalist straight by explaining why it’s important that we look to those in the know when we’re worried, in this case the medical personnel on the front line. It shut down the conversation because Klopp wasn’t prepared to speculate when he just didn’t know. (You can watch how Klopp replied here, but if you want the latest public advice on the virus, just click here).
And this is the point I’m getting to:
Klopp’s comments reminded me how sometimes we have to be firm, but fair.
It’s fine to say if we just don’t know.
It’s ok if we don’t have an opinion one way or the other.
It’s reasonable just to signpost people to relevant help.
It’s alright to tell people when they’ve over-stepped the mark.
I’m talking about boundaries.
It doesn’t come easy putting people in their place, but when you do have something to say, and it’s a well informed comment, you should have the chance to voice it, as and when the need arises especially if it’s your own well-being that’s being affected. We can do this fairly, without conflict, and still have our voices heard.
This week, set the intention to Hold Your Own. If recent conversations are taking a toll on your well-being, find ways to meet your needs that feel healthy and fair. It might be a period of coming off social media or setting out some ground rules about what’s acceptable to you. If there’s a point that needs to be made, start to think about how best to get that across, and reach out for help when you need to. Think about the values you want to articulate and the boundaries you need to set Do your own research. Ask people in the know. Prepare yourself as best you can. If nerves get the better of you, or the conversation’s not going anywhere, it’s ok to create some positive space and walk away, even if only for five minutes. Remember that you have as much right to be heard as the next person, especially when you have a point worth making
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Copyright Delphi Ellis 2020