How do you define happiness?
It’s such a huge question isn’t it. On my workshops, I talk a lot about happiness, and that sometimes it’s our striving to achieve it that can lead to problems of their own. It’s ironic, right? When we’re trying to be happy, we can end up focused on the lack of happiness.
This video makes this point. On a daily basis, we default to positions to avoid us being unhappy, which can create more problems than they fix. The author of the video puts these in to three categories:
1. Wanting the latest thing (so eg, we end up spending too much)
2. Rejecting what is (eg, not being happy about the weather, or time, or someone crunching loudly, even though being unhappy about it doesn’t change anything)
3. Zoning (or numbing) out – as a result of 1 & 2, we end up finding strategies (whether it’s through food, exercise, or binge watching Netflix) as a way to cope.
Here’s what might help:
This week, maybe the set the intention to Mind Your Happy. Paying attention to where your thoughts go each day can help you notice whether you’ve fallen in to wanting, rejecting or zoning out. You could make a note this week by way of a thought diary that helps you notice when you’re feeling up or down, and see if you can link it to anything that’s going on during the day. Some people simply notice they slump after lunch and, because we know that we are what we eat, even adjusting our diet can help improve our mood.
This article also offers some other ways to find happiness in difficult times, and the video above also explains that a “solution” for all of the above is to practice Mindfulness – noticing what is, rather than how we think it should be.
And if you ever worry about deserving to be happy, remember that happiness is everyone’s right – and that you’re allowed to experience it. Every single day.
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Copyright Delphi Ellis 2021