During a recent workshop I was teaching, I asked the attendees what they would say to themselves if they dropped their wallets/purses at the checkout, and all the coins/contents scattered across the floor in front of them. Not one of them said they’d say “whoops, that was an accident”. Every one of them said they’d call themselves an idiot (or worse). And this is how many of us talk to ourselves.
Negative self-talk is one of the things that reduces resilience, your capacity to cope, but most of us don’t even realise we’ve fallen in to this trap. In the U.K. certainly, we do self-deprecation really well. We put ourselves down, make fun of ourselves, describe our flaws and hardly ever speak of our strengths for fear of looking arrogant. But actually, it’s those very things which can take their toll, especially if we are feeling low. How often do you tell yourself you’re beautiful?
Here’s a top tip:
Take a look in the mirror. Describe one thing you like about your face. Whether it’s your hair, eyes, mouth or eyelashes find something that you like. If you find that hard, ask a friend to say something nice about you. One attribute, skill or strength they could describe that you might not recognise in your self. But pay attention to your self-talk and for every flaw you find, balance that with something positive.
You are the fairest of them all.
This is an extract from The Sparkle Repair Kit™. For free access and regular mojo straight to your inbox, and free access to free resources designed to help you sparkle subscribe here