Thought for the Day

Thought for the day

Your dream doesn’t have an expiration date. Take a deep breath, and try again. 

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Wellbeing and Mental Health

It’s okay not to be okay.

When I first started working in mental health, (some 10 years ago now), I worked with women experiencing ante-natal depression – depression during pregnancy.  They’d often start by telling me one of the hardest things was telling family and friends they felt depressed.  Usually, the response they got was along the lines of “what have you got to be depressed about?”.  What made that harder was, often, the person suffering didn’t have an answer to that.  It’s one of the reasons it can be so hard talking about how we feel, if we can’t say why.  Poor mental health sometimes doesn’t have a story line, at least not one you can put your finger on straight away.  And our emotional and spiritual health is just as important to our overall wellbeing, as our physical health.

We are a solution-focused crowd, us humans.  When someone says they have a problem, our tendency is to try and fix it straight away or at least offer a suggestion of what worked with someone we know – because we just want to help.  As helpful as we think it may be, it rarely is.  The person suffering may not be able to pin down what’s caused their low mood or anxiety and it can take a while to figure out a pathway for getting better.  There isn’t usually an ‘easy fix’ and they’re not likely to feel better overnight.  (One woman told me that she’d told someone she had depression in pregnancy and was told to “get her hair cut, because that makes women feel better”.  Um, no – no it doesn’t.)

All of us are under pressure to feel ‘okay’ all the time.  People fall under scrutiny – or stigma – when they’re not.  We all have good days and bad days, and sometimes it’s okay to just go home, close the door and go back to bed.  (I’m partial to a Jaffa Cake on those days).  But it becomes unhealthy when the choice is made to withdraw completely, avoid people and resist help of any kind, particularly if you’re living with a noisy mind (and it feels like there are no, or very few, choices).

Click here for how Helping You Sparkle™ can help.

The research is telling us that poor mental health is becoming a global problem both for adults and children, with 20% of children and adolescents around the world affected before the age of 14.  The stigma associated with poor mental health creates a barrier for many people – young and old – but we do  know that talking about how we feel is a positive pathway to recovery.

Here’s some ideas which might help:

  1. Have a chat with your doctor if you’ve been noticing that you’ve been low, stressed or anxious for a while (maybe two weeks or more).  Below is a video from Mind which offers tips on how to talk to your GP about your mental health.  You may find articles like this about anxiety useful or different interventions like Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).  You may also find it helps talking with a friend and if they make unhelpful comments or suggestions (probably with good intentions) about what they think you need, give them some tips based on the paragraph below on what you think you do.
  2. If you know someone who is suffering with poor mental health, acknowledge that’s how it is.  They’re not making it up and if they could ‘snap out of it’ they would.  Ask them what would help: it might be practical support (like help with shopping), some company going for a walk, or it might just be a cup of tea and an ear to bend.  They might not know what they need, but sometimes just holding space with someone, being there, is actually enough.  As a good friend, do what you can but remember you may also need support from time to time, so it’s good for you to off load now and then too.
  3. Keep talking.  Whether you’re someone who is suffering right now or someone trying to help, keep the door open.   If you’re feeling overwhelmed and need to talk to someone straight away, you may wish to contact an organisations like the Samaritans.

You can also access free resouces including the Sparkle Repair Kit™ – a small but mighty eGuide containing top tips, worksheets and a Mindful  Mandala to colour in, when you subscribe to the Sparkle mailing list. You’ll also receive regular, positive mojo, straight to your inbox.  If you’d rather not subscribe you can buy the Sparkle Repair Kit™ here for just £5.  You’ll be directed to the eGuide as soon as you’ve made your payment.  Over to you.

Thought for the Day

Thought for the Day

Never apologise for being sensitive or emotional. Let this be a sign that you’ve got a big heart and aren’t afraid to let others see it.  Showing your emotions is a sign of strength – Brigitte Nicole. 

Spiritual Coaching: for heart-centred people who want to help others

Do you have a calling to help people, but don’t know where to start? Do you want to make a positive difference to others, but would benefit from making peace with yourself first? Do you feel overwhelmed by other people, been told you’re “too sensitive” and feel everything deeply?

Spirituality and mental health go hand in hand. Spiritual health is about a person’s approach to life, their understanding of who they are, where they fit in to the world, what brings them peace and what they bring to the party of life. It’s your values, beliefs, what gives you a sense of meaning and purpose, what nourishes you on a deeper level and what makes you “you”.

Spiritual Coaching offers you the opportunity to explore safely who you are right now, discovering what brings meaning to your life and developing your natural skills for helping others.  It  encompasses every aspect of you, individually and holistically, as a complete person: your mind, body and soul.

This service provides space to explore these areas, whilst encouraging self-compassion, kindness and finding purpose in what you do. It starts with making friends with yourself and moving forward in a heart-centred way, with benefit to all.

This is not a religion-based therapy, it is open to any adult from any faith, or none at all.

How to book with Delphi


Use the button above to receive a discounted rate of £35 per session. Your name will automatically be added to my mailing list to receive this discount and exclusive access to the members area, with free resources available to view – you can unsubscribe at any time.  If you’d rather not subscribe, just complete the form below and I’ll contact you  to arrange an appointment at the full session price of £50 each. Sessions available at my office in Milton Keynes and via Skype.

Mental Health and Wellbeing Training and Events in Milton Keynes

Delphi delivering training to staff at a Workplace Wellbeing Event

Book a Speaker

If you’re hosting an event and would like Delphi to deliver training or a talk on her specialist areas please use the contact details below.


2018

Relaxation Classes via Kindfully  – click here for dates and details


Serenity – relaxation for Busy Women

Gems – micro wellbeing sessions for the workplace

Wellbeing Workshops for Women and Women’s Mental Health

Brilliant Resilience – workplace wellbeing for men and women

One of the best training sessions I’ve attended in years. Very well presented, Delphi is a natural!

Delphi’s calm manner and clear-speaking meant she connected with the audience and made us feel that we were able to ask questions without feeling conscious. We can’t wait for Delphi to return again.” Amanda Coles, President SSEWI

Proud to have worked with:

Quote of the Day

Astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness. Maya Angelou. 

Overthinking: Living with a noisy mind


I was teaching a relaxation class to a group of students recently, when I likened the feeling of anxiety to being on a treadmill. You start with a slow walk which increases to a gentle jog – not always pleasant, but manageable – and the next thing you know you’re hurtling at a pace, faster and faster: you find yourself running at a terrifying  sprint. You keep going, trying desperately to stay on the machine knowing, if you don’t keep up, you’ll fall off and get hurt.  You can’t just halt the machine either; you have to bring the process slowly to an end so you don’t do yourself a serious injury.  The challenge is how to make the situation safe, when you don’t know what to do.  So, when people say “just calm down” when you’re having a panic attack, you can’t – something’s not “safe”, as far as you’re concerned. 

But who is controlling the treadmill?

I often hear people saying that poor mental health – and actually, happiness – is a choice. As part of World Mental Health Day, and to fight the stigma associated with it, I wanted to explore the idea that when our mood is negatively affected, are we always in control?


I have worked with people with poor mental health for over a decade and consistently they tell me they feel really misunderstood; that they’re not attention seekers and if they could just “snap out of it” they would. 

In truth, often they don’t understand why they’re anxious or low any more than the next person. Sometimes their anxiety has no story line and the panic/depression just takes hold – it’s a challenge to manage anything when there is no obvious cause.  

There may be triggers when the experience is unravelled through talking therapy, or it may be that a series of factors including lifestyle, lack of sleep and relationships are involved – but sometimes there is no apparent reason at all.  

Nearly all of the people I speak with recognise having a noisy mind, one which is difficult to tame or quiet. 


Living with a noisy mind can become second nature: it’s not always a precursor to a panic attack but can be a cause of anxiety and depression, especially if the noise continues over a prolonged period of time.

People will learn not just how to hide their noisy thinking from others, but find unhealthy coping strategies, like alcohol or drugs, or suffer with obsessive compulsive disorder: performing rituals to combat and control any thoughts, feelings or concerns that something bad will happen if they don’t. 

The noise is ineffable, it’s not necessarily a voice although sometimes it is the “should and shouldn’t” sound – “I shouldn’t be resting, I should be working/cleaning the house/studying” – and it becomes yet another stick to beat ourselves with, something else we’re getting wrong or failing at.  It may look a little like worry to someone on the outside but it’s beyond any sort of worry we would class as “normal” or “day-to-day”. 

Like the speedy treadmill, sometimes the first a person knows they’re in the grip of something awful is when it’s become a real problem. Sometimes other people notice before we do, and it may only be when we get physical symptoms like headaches and stomach problems (with no obvious medical cause) we make the decision to address it. 

As far as controlling negative thoughts is concerned – and therefore our mental health – especially when those thoughts are automatic, leading to habitual, unhealthy responses, it takes time, education, effort and support to get better. It’s when understanding how the brain works in fight or flight is useful (I teach more about this in CBT sessions and wellbeing courses), and in particular finding out more about anxiety and what helps

The choice to manage our mental health comes in once a person is aware there could be a problem and aware there is something positive which can help. Here’s some ideas:

1) Have a chat with your GP if you’re finding the noise is difficult or unmanageable. A certain amount of worry is normal and sometimes necessary (eg. when going for a job interview, it keeps us on our toes). If you are feeling overwhelmed, your doctor may refer you for private therapy or talk through other interventions which may be useful.  If you have been having thoughts about harming yourself, you can also talk to the Samaritans

2) The nature of the mind as we get older is to be busy. You can re-train it, to become less noisy, through healthy coping strategies like Mindfulness and consider attending wellbeing courses either privately run or through local  charities. Have a look at the Mind website to see if there’s anything happening in your area. 

3) Cognitive Behavioural Therapy offers tools you can add to your list of things which can be useful, especially when you need to challenge unhealthy overthinking which is getting out of control. 

You may also find this video of people sharing their experiences – and what helped – useful. 

Subscribe for regular, personalised and positive mojo to your inbox and receive exclusive access to the Members Area which contains free videos, guides and MP3’s for you to view. 

Image sources included above: unknown (please let us know if you do so we can credit the artist. Thank you.)

Relaxation Classes in Milton Keynes

relaxation-classes-in-mk

Relaxation through Mindfulness – Classes in Milton Keynes

Delphi was a good course Trainer, very informative. I really enjoyed the training.

An enlightening one hour session as an introduction to relaxation through Mindfulness designed for beginners, including top tips which can reduce stress, lower blood pressure and manage stress – suitable for everyone, including during pregnancy.

One of the best training sessions I’ve attended in years. Very well presented, Delphi is a natural!

*NEW* Factsheet – what is mindfulness?

Choose your preferred date and click the button to make your payment and confirm your place, or use the form below to make an enquiry.

Delphi’s calm manner and clear-speaking meant she connected with the audience and made us feel that we were able to ask questions without feeling conscious. We can’t wait for Delphi to return again.” Amanda Coles, President SSEWI

 

 

Quote of the Day


I hope you wake up feeling like a blank canvas. Paint yourself beautiful today. 

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) in Milton Keynes

CBT
What is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy?

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a technique which helps explore the relationship between what we think, how we feel and how we behave.  It’s usually offered as a short-term treatment (usually around 6-8 sessions) and is designed to help reduce the impact of patterns of negative thinking which can lead to poor mental health.

Did you know, according to the Royal College of Psychiatrists, CBT is one of the most effective therapies for Depression and Anxiety?

What can it be used for?

CBT can be used for a variety of different problems including phobias, managing stress and poor sleep.  Unlike other therapeutic interventions, CBT doesn’t focus on the past but on real-time issues that you would like to resolve.  According to the Royal College of Psychiatrists it’s one of the most effective treatments for Anxiety and Depression.

How to book 

CBT is offered as an integrative approach to help with poor sleep, stress and anxiety.  1-1 session (50 mins) – £45 each.  First appointments include an initial assessment.  Please complete the form below to find out how to book.

 

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