Monday Mojo – Stop and Drop

  • Is something weighing you down right now?When we live busy lives it’s easy to lose sight of how much we are carrying around:
    • The challenges of trying to get everything ‘just right’. 
    • Worry about friends or family.
    • Deadlines at work. 
  • They all add up. 
  • It helps to recognise what’s on your mind and what’s taking its toll, because it’s there anyway, whether you put the spotlight on it or not. The body often speaks first, with headaches, or catching every bug that’s going round.  So, it might be time to let go of some things which are weighing heavy.
  • In mindfulness we refer to curiosity as a way of noticing how the mind wanders off, but without judging the thoughts we have.  Instead of becoming the participant in your thinking and getting tangled in the ‘whys’ and ‘what if’s, you can learn to be the observer of your thoughts, as they arise, without judgement.  When I talk about letting go, I don’t mean forgetting the thoughts or problems dragging you down, quite the opposite. Instead, you recognise thoughts as they arise, and then give yourself permission to come back to them if they serve a purpose, when you consciously decide it matters. 
  • This week, set the intention to Stop and Drop. Over the next few days, take a moment to pause in your busy schedule and ask yourself what’s really weighing you down. Give yourself 20 minutes ‘worry time’ if needed, then give yourself permission to relax, even if only for a few minutes more. As you become aware of thoughts, simply describe in your mind what you’re doing which is “thinking” and then with gentle kindness give yourself permission to come back to them later. Then breathe and take your time. Here’s a Spotify playlist that might help.
  • For Monday Mojo straight to your inbox, click here
  • ©️ Delphi Ellis 2019

    Hello and Welcome

    Welcome to my website, thank you for stopping by.

    These pages tell you how to access services which have been carefully designed to help you find your mojo and get your sparkle back.

    Mental health is as important as physical health, and we now know that one can have an impact on the other. But many people still find it difficult to slow down, talk about their feelings or make their wellbeing a priority. Talking with someone impartial can help.

    I’m Delphi Ellis, a Qualified Mental Health Therapist and Wellbeing Trainer – Helping You Sparkle™. I help people find their forward, often after a difficult period in their lives. The information below tells you more about me, the services I provide and my professional career.

    I offer talking therapies, workshops and classes promoting positive mental health – my aim is to help you reconnect with your energy and enthusiasm – I call this ‘your mojo‘.  You might feel like you want to get your sparkle back following a difficult situation in your life, like after bereavement or relationship breakdown.

    The services I provide also enable and empower people to positively manage their mental health, particularly if they’ve been experiencing periods of stress, anxiety and depression.  As a Mindfulness Practitioner I blend the philosophy of mindfulness in to the work I do, offering an holistic, integrated and tailored approach to helping someone find their way forward.

    As someone who has worked with and supported many women dealing with challenging situations like breast cancer, domestic abuse and pregnancy, some of my services I offer are exclusively female. You might like my website Let’s Talk Lady Business.

    As well as 1-1 services,  I also offer group workshops and have online resources available to buy. Take a look here.

    When you subscribe to my mailing list ‘Monday Mojo™’, you get free access to resources in the Members Area like the Sparkle Repair Kit™.  

    You can also get in touch here.

    Private and Corporate clients are welcome.

    Mindfulness Class: Delphi, A HUGE THANK YOU. I really have learned so much and enjoyed every week.

    https://youtu.be/AvJlG8W7WPc

    Professional Career 

    I have supported people professionally since 2002, where I started my therapeutic work in bereavement. I helped those bereaved by murder and suicide, including attending inquests at coroner’s court, and have been trained by the National Homicide Service.

    When the time was right for them, my clients wanted to find their way forward, and get their sparkle back; this became the foundation of the work I do today. I listen to what my clients need, helping them find their way back to centre or towards a ‘new normal’.

    During 2018, I designed and delivered as the specialist Lead Trainer for the Cruse ‘More than Words’ project, developing peer support groups for bereaved people around the U.K.. In 2019, I also designed and became the Lead Trainer for the ‘You Behind The Uniform’ project, aimed at discussing bereavement and wellbeing, with front line emergency services personnel.

    In 2004, I established a unique website dedicated to Pregnancy Mental Health, following my own experience of depression and anxiety during pregnancy. This began a journey of promoting better mental health for women, including supporting those escaping domestic abuse. I have featured in several popular magazines including Pregnancy and Birth and Natural Health magazines, and featured on radio programmes like Radio 4’s Women’s Hour. (You can find out more about my media appearances here).

    In 2019, I developed Let’s Talk Lady Business as a positive platform which aims to improve the global conversation encouraging fairness, choice and equality in female health and wellbeing, through awareness and education.

    I am involved with and volunteer for a number of projects which support work in the local community. In 2018, I was nominated as one of the Women who Make Bedfordshire Safer Awards, held by the Office of the Police and Crime Commissioner. I was also nominated as a Community Champion as part of a nationwide competition, and won Volunteer of the Year Cohesion Award in 2019, for services to the community.

    Qualifications and Training

    My qualifications and training include Therapeutic Counselling, Delivering Adult Learning, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Support for Insomnia, Mental Health First Aid and Mindfulness. I am also a Women’s Advocate, raising awareness of situations which predominantly affect Women’s Mental Health, like Domestic Abuse and Pregnancy.

    With Delphi’s help, I have a new perspective on life and the strength to face new and challenging things in a positive way.” B.

    ©️ Copyright Delphi Ellis

    Counselling

    Therapy can be helpful for people trying to find direction or who want to get their sparkle back, often after a difficult period in their lives.

    I am a registered, qualified therapist offering integrated person-centred services, working within a professional, ethical framework.  Services include counselling, coaching, and workplace supervision.

    You can book a free initial consultation online here (subject to availability).

    Take a look at the frequently asked questions below.

    “How does it work?”

    When you attend your first appointment, I’ll explain a few important details about confidentiality (see below) and then we’ll talk about how I may be able to help. Most people want to look at a particular aspect of their lives that’s not working for them.

    You might be suffering with stress, depression or anxiety and want to find practical, effective ways to manage your mental health. You might have lost your mojo at work, or are struggling to recover after the breakdown of a relationship or a bereavement, and want to get your sparkle back.

    I offer a free initial consultation to all new clients. This enables us to explore your situation and what you’re hoping to achieve, and how I can help. I offer sessions which last up to 50 minutes each, in Bedford and Milton Keynes (subject to availability). Appointments are also available over the ‘phone (in the UK) and via Skype.

    What type of therapy do you offer?

    I offer an integrated approach, which means the service I offer can blend models like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), methods like coaching, and philosophies like mindfulness – meaning each situation is tailored to the client. I have worked in a therapeutic setting for over 15 years. (If you’d like to know more about me and my career, click here).

    “What’s the difference between counselling and coaching?”

    There are many definitions but for me coaching is a solution-focused approach to finding your way forward, creating an action plan and agreeing specific steps to achieve your goal.  This can include setting an agenda for the session, being set ‘homework’ and putting time limits on the work we do together.  Coaching can incorporate CBT methods, and is particularly useful for people trying to manage anxiety, or having problems getting motivated at work.

    Counselling is more fluid, with clients bringing what they want each week to discuss – it’s less solution-focused, and more about acknowledging and managing difficult emotions like depression and grief.

    “Is it confidential?”

    Yes, with a couple of important exceptions. If you seem to be thinking about hurting yourself or someone else, or disclose that you intend to or already have broken the law, I’m obliged to let the relevant authorities know. I also receive ‘clinical supervision’ during which I discuss my case load anonymously. This means I work with and talk about my cases with another trained counsellor, ensuring the work I do with you remains helpful, and within my remit.

    “What if I’m really struggling?”

    I will always encourage you to speak to your GP in the first instance, and reach out to organisations like Samaritans who are available 24/7 on 116 123.  If you’re really worried about your health call 111 or in an emergency, 999.

    “What else do I need to know?”

    There are charities in Bedford and Milton Keynes which provide free listening services. You may wish to explore these before paying for services advertised here.

    How to book

    You can book your free initial consultation here.  If you have an enquiry,  use the form below to get in touch.  Messages are answered during office hours. Private and Corporate clients welcome.

    Monday Mojo – Create Your Space

    Where is your sanctuary?

    The place you go when you need some time out, when you need some peace and quiet away from the chaos of the world.  Because we all need one. 

    When life is busy, it’s easy for our private spaces to become cluttered.
    Magazines get piled up in the corner, with every intention they’ll get read.  
    Paperwork grows on one corner of your work space.
    And that pile of clean washing lives on ‘the chair’.

    Whether you share your living space, or live on your own, there’s something about having your own space when you need to unwind. 
    • To disconnect from life for a while
    • To recharge your batteries
    • To relax, and find your way back to centre. 

    In a busy world that won’t slow down, it’s not always easy to find a quiet space, when there’s always things to do, people to see and places to go. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. Dedicating a place for you to unwind can boost your Mojo. 

    This week, set the intention to Create Your Space. See if there is a place in your home or garden where you can retreat when you need some sanctuary. If not, see if you can create that space in such a way that the minute you step into it,  it feels like a place of calm. Decorate it with things that bring peace to your world – your favourite colours, something sparkly or even a letter or postcard from someone you love. Tell people you live with it’s a ‘no whinge zone’, so only good vibes are welcome there.  If it’s a shared space, negotiate the times you use it to be fair to everyone, but at the same time make sure they respect the space you’ve created. And most of all, create time in your diary to use it, and give yourself permission to relax – because you deserve it.

    For Monday Mojo straight to your inbox, click here

    ©️ Delphi Ellis 2019

    Monday Mojo – Enjoy the Moment

    What do you do when you get a day off?

    It’s Easter Monday as this is published, here in the U.K. and for a lot of people it can mean any number of things, most of which require energy. We think about doing some spring cleaning. We might consider getting a bit of DIY done. Or perhaps remind ourselves the lawn needs mowing. 

    In this busy world, when we get an extra day off, the focus may be more on doing than being. It’s easy to forget that we need to “be” as much as “do”, and so even when we’re blessed with gorgeous weather we see it as a chance to see to the garden or put the washing out.  And I get it, not least of all because we never know when the warm weather will arrive.  

    However, this is your permission slip to take some time out too. 

    This Bank Holiday, and for the rest of this week, set the intention to Enjoy the Moment. Find pockets of time in your busy schedule to sit and just be. Make yourself a cuppa, put your feet up and play your favourite songs even if only for a few minutes.  And breathe. Notice the way that air flows in and out of your body; that your breath doesn’t breathe into the future – it’s always now.

    For Monday Mojo straight to your inbox, click here

    ©️ Delphi Ellis 2019

    Useful Links and Contacts – Mental Health Awareness

    If you’re worried about your physical or mental health, speak to your doctor as soon as possible.

    This page contains some links for the U.K. which may be useful. This is not an exhaustive list, and a link doesn’t mean we endorse the content, just that you may find it useful:

    If you’re struggling with your mental health, and need someone to talk to, remember Samaritans: are available 24/7 on 116 123 – http://Samaritans.org

    Powher provide an advocacy service particularly around mental health and work. https://www.pohwer.net/

    If you’re worried about a young person:

    Papyrus: (preventing suicide in young people) 0800 068 41 41 https://www.papyrus-uk.org/help-advice

    Young Minds: https://youngminds.org.uk/find-help/looking-after-yourself/

    Other sources of help:

    Help for those who recognise the symptoms of obsessive compulsive disorder.  Contains a perinatal OCD information leaflet. http://www.ocdaction.org.uk

    Combat Stress (UK Veterans Mental Health Charity): http://combatstress.org.uk 0800 138 1619

    Mind information leaflets on different types of mental health condition: http://mind.org.uk

    Heads Together’s Tips for Talking: http://headstogether.org.uk/tipsfortalking

    “Finding the words to ask for help” video by Mind:

    Bereavement

    Cruse Bereavement Care

    National Bereavement Service includes guides on Registering a Death and Coroner’s Inquests

    Chums (for children)

    Milton Keynes Bereavement Service

    Child Bereavement UK

    SOBS (for those bereaved by suicide)

    National Homicide Service (Bereaved Families affected by Homicide)

    Survivors of Rape

    Rape Crisis U.K.

    Survivors U.K. – Male Rape and Abuse

    Domestic Abuse

    Refuge

    Eating Disorders

    Beat Eating Disorders

    Pregnancy Mental Health

    Maternity Action is a UK charity committed to improving the health and well-being of pregnant women, partners and young children. www.maternityaction.org.uk

    Relationship counselling service www.relate.org.uk

    Refuge – Information about Pregnancy and Domestic Abuse http://www.refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/what-is-domestic-violence/domestic-violence-and-pregnancy

    Talk Mum – A community for Mums and Mums to Be

    Elaine Hanzak is a speaker and author of two books around post-natal depression.

    Raising awareness of post-natal depression The Joanne (Joe) Bingley Memorial Foundation

    Tommy’s Premature Baby Charity Tommy’s

    Frequently Asked Questions: https://pregnancymentalhealth.net/frequently-asked-questions/

    NHS Choices – pregnancy and mental health: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/mental-health-problems-pregnant.aspx

    NHS Choices – post-natal depression: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Postnataldepression/Pages/Introduction.aspx

    Mind information leaflet: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression-and-perinatal-mental-health/

    There are also services like:

    Sands support – for anyone affected by the death of a baby http://www.sands.org.uk/

    Miscarriage Association: https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/

    For men:

    Calm Zone (specifically for men): https://www.thecalmzone.net/help/get-help/

    https://pregnancymentalhealth.net/2016/10/21/ante-natal-and-post-natal-depression-and-anxiety-in-men/

    Videos

    “Be in your mate’s corner” video by Time to Change is here:

    Responding with empathy: https://helpingyousparkle.com/2017/10/25/making-space-to-talk-responding-with-empathy-when-someones-struggling/

    This is not an exhaustive list. Remember, always speak to your doctor or midwife, if you have concerns about your mental or physical health. Links to sites or services doesn’t mean we endorse their content, just that the information may be of interest.

    Monday Mojo – Grow Your Tribe

    Where do you belong?

    As human beings, we are tribal by nature. Our desire to fit in can govern the lives we lead. It can dictate what we say and do. How we connect and thrive. 

    In truth, many of us like to fit in, and not because it’s fashionable, but because it’s a basic human need to call somewhere ‘home’, and to feel important to those around us.   As Brené Brown says, “we are wired to love, to be loved and belong”.

    But when we discover the people we spend our time with don’t align with our beliefs, or don’t share our values, it makes for an awkward if not uncomfortable time.  Maybe people at work or at home leave you feeling:
    Unheard
    Misunderstood
    Lonely. 

    In the UK alone, over 9,000,000 people identify with feelings of loneliness. That they can be in a room full of people and still feel alone – perhaps you know that feeling. I’m saying this because you deserve to be amongst those who can see the gift you bring to the party of life. This is is why it’s so important that you spend time with those who can help you feel at home. 

    This week, set the intention to Grow Your Tribe. Take a look at your social circle, and think about whether the company you keep meets your needs. Do your friends lift you up or bring you down? Are people in your company happy at your success or jealous of it? Do the ones you share your thoughts with allow you to be witnessed just as you are, and listen, or leave you feeling unheard. Start to recognise who helps you sparkle – and spend time in good company. You have every right to be heard and belong.

    For Monday Mojo straight to your inbox click here

    ©️ Delphi Ellis

    Mindfulness for Dreamy Sleep

    Dreams fascinate people, but if you’re struggling to get to sleep, you’re not likely to be having many. The knock-on effect can take its toll on both your physical and mental health.

    Lack of sleep can cause a lot of problems: it can make you forgetful, cause you to feel edgy or low, it may even give you nightmares when you eventually drop off.  It’s why finding a tried-and-tested technique for better sleep could literally change your life.  Mindfulness is a proven strategy for improving sleep, and better sleep may even improve the quality (and content) of your dreams, and your ability to remember them.

    This is why I’ve designed the Mindfulness for Dreamy Sleep Resources Pack.

    I’m Delphi Ellis, a qualified therapist, mental health trainer and mindfulness practitioner.  I specialise in dream interpretation, promoting healthy sleep.  (You can find out more about me here).

    The pack is based on the evidence which shows the effectiveness of mindfulness for people who struggle to fall asleep or stay asleep. We know that mindfulness and better sleep can help reduce feelings of anxiety and depression.

    When you purchase the Resources Pack, you’ll find online access* to:

    • A guided meditation recording (approximately 10 minutes, MP3), to help soothe you into sleep.  This guided meditation also includes tailored affirmations for if you’d like to remember your dreams (optional)
    • Dreamy Sleep Guided Meditation Script, so you can read the guided meditation before you begin, or record it at a pace that feels right for you
    • A Dreamy eGuide to Sleep – containing top tips and insights on what can help you sleep, and the benefits of exploring your dreams
    • An A4 activity sheet to help you record your dreams. You can either print this or use it to guide your own personal journal of recording your dreams
    • Keeping a Dream Diary eGuide***

    To purchase the Resources Pack for the introductory price of just £10** click the round image or choose the payment options below.

    Important note: If your dreams or sleep are causing you a problem, please talk to your doctor. All these resources are for your private and personal use, and are protected by copyright.  Please see the terms and conditions below. If you have any questions before you buy, please get in touch.

    You might also like:

    Article on Nightmares

    Common and Recurring Dreams

    Not ready to buy but want to know what your dream might mean? You could pay for a Dream Interpretation

    Terms and Conditions

    * All services are subject to availability and we reserve the right to remove online access at any time.  No guarantees of better sleep and dream recall are given or implied in this promotion. The contents may only be of entertainment value.

    ** Special offers and products may be removed from sale at any time.

    *** eGuide for Keeping a Dream Diary is free on its own if you subscribe to The Dreams Lady newsletter.

    Once you’ve made your purchase you should receive an email within 10 minutes containing the link and password to access the resources online. If for any reason you don’t receive the email within 10 minutes please check your junk mail first, and then get in touch. Please note that no hard copy/paper/CD version of this kit is currently available and the kit requires internet to access.  If you have any concerns about your health and wellbeing, or the use of mindfulness, you should always speak to your doctor.

    ©️ Copyright Delphi Ellis

    Monday Mojo – Rest Your Soul

    How tired are you today?

    If you’re feeling drained, it might be that ‘Monday morning feeling’. It could be as a result of Sunday Night Syndrome. Or maybe your body isn’t just tired, but your soul is exhausted – do you know that feeling?

    It’s the one where the world has got so loud, that no one is listening anymore.
    Where people misinterpret what you say.
    Where you have to justify what you do.
    When others make assumptions, talk over you, or interrupt you whilst you’re speaking.
    When they just don’t seem to have the time or the patience to sit and ‘be’ with you. 

    The good news is that although the world may be full of chaos right now, that doesn’t mean we have to be chaotic in it. 

    This week, set the intention to Rest Your Soul.  Plan some time in your diary to sit and be for a while. If you find you feel guilty for sitting and doing ‘nothing’ remember relaxation is doing something – you’re re-charging your batteries, replenishing your energy so that you can be there for others when you need or choose. Give yourself permission to allow yourself some quiet time, make yourself a brew and sit and observe the world without participating in it for a while. And then when you’re ready join in at your pace. 

    For Monday Mojo straight to your inbox click here

    ©️ Delphi Ellis 2019

    Monday Mojo – Ventilate Your World

    Have you noticed how frantic the world seems right now?

    With all the noise, it’s hard to hear what’s really going on.  Everywhere feels so crowded, it’s sometimes hard to breathe. It feels like everyone is running, but no one is getting anywhere. 

    When the world feels too small. it’s difficult to know which way is up. We can find ourselves making snap decisions, hastily choosing options which in the long run don’t work for us.  And there just never seems to be any space.  

    That’s when it can be so important to breathe life in to the situation you’re in. 

    This week, set the intention to Ventilate Your World. Take a step back from where you are right now, and literally just breathe for at least 90 seconds.  (Research shows that 90 seconds is all you need to shift from a state of panic or anger, to a calmer, relaxed state.) Start to think about where your life has become over- crowded, and where you need to do some potentially life-saving tasks – for the sake of your own health and well-being.  You don’t have to cope on your own, so if you need support, reach out to those who might be able to help. 

    For Monday Mojo straight to your inbox, click here

    ©️ Delphi Ellis 2019

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