You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire Universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~ Gautama Buddha
Valentine’s Day is the one day of the year where we overtly show our affections for other people. But actually, don’t we do that every day? When we check our mobile ‘phones as soon as we wake up, aren’t we checking in on everyone else to see how they’re doing? When do we ever do that for ourselves?
So I’m officially declaring Valentine’s Day as Global “It’s Okay to Love Yourself” Day. I can’t think of a better day of the year to celebrate your unique-ness, the qualities you bring to the party of life and all that makes you…well, you.
A lot of people I work with, especially those who suffer with stress, anxiety and depression, think that if they love themselves they’ll be called a narcissist – and I emphasise over and again self-love and Narcissism are NOT the same thing.
Self-love is absolutely necessary.
It’s not selfish to consider your needs, and yet so many people I work with – especially women – feel guilty for even thinking about having time to themselves.
In order to be there for other people (which I know you are) you have to take care of yourself. It’s not selfish to consider your needs, and yet so many people I work with – especially women – feel guilty for even thinking about having time to themselves. (It’s one of the reasons I came up with the idea for Serenity – a monthly evening gathering for women dedicated to rest and relaxation).
We focus so much of our time and attention on pleasing others. But what about what pleases you – do you even know what that is? If we constantly strive to please others, life can become meaningless. Our spiritual growth is stunted. We get lost. And that’s when our emotional health really starts to suffer.
Here’s some top tips:
1) Think about the way you talk to yourself. When you’re having a bad day, do you put yourself down? When you make a mistake do you call yourself an idiot (or worse)? Do you hate yourself for the way you look/smile/speak etc? Stop. Even if it’s just for today. Make Valentine’s Day the one day of the year when you are kind to yourself. Make it YOUR day, when you speak to yourself like you would a dear friend. And, if you can, do that every day after.
2) Discover YOUR truth. We live in a world where we are heavily bombarded and influenced by other people’s opinions about what is right and wrong – and we can become confused about what love really means. Make yourself a cuppa, put your feet up for five minutes or try some meditation or mindfulness – but essentially contemplate for a while what it means to be you, in this time and place. What do you want? What do you need? You can use some of the resources in the Members Area (free to access when you subscribe ) to help you. The Sparkle Repair Kit™ and Action Plan templates can help you work through some ideas. Subscribe here.
3) Remember you are loved. This isn’t meant in a cheesy, corny or romantic way. Your are loved by someone – but more than anything love and romance starts with you. There is a saying that you can only meet others as far as you’ve met yourself. So if you don’t care for yourself, you’ll end up in relationships that don’t work for you. You might believe you don’t deserve love. You might have been told you’re unloveable or been deprived of love as a punishment. But you do deserve to be loved. You matter. You are important. You have a right to be here. I know me saying it doesn’t necessarily change how you might feel right now, especially if you’ve lived with those feelings for a long time, but everyone deserves to be loved. And you are. There might be days when you feel like you’re the worst person in the world. But even on those days someone in the world does care about you.
You are loved. Pass it on.
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